As a Vietnamese American living in Bern, Switzerland, I’m on a journey to blend in while embracing my American roots. I moved to the United States at the age of 8, so my identity is a blend of Vietnamese heritage and American upbringing. Now, as a mother of two, I’m learning to navigate the cultural differences in parenting between the US and Switzerland.

Learning Languages and Adapting to Swiss Diet:

To better assimilate, I’m taking German courses and teaching myself French. I’ve also embraced a Swiss diet, enjoying a variety of breads and butter. Despite these efforts, some American habits are hard to shake, especially when it comes to expressing myself freely and enthusiastically without judgment.

American vs. Swiss Parenting Styles:

When I’m with my 12-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter, my American side often shows. Swiss parents are generally more reserved and less hands-on compared to American parents. For instance, Swiss children enjoy more freedom at playgrounds, often without constant supervision. In contrast, American parents, including myself, tend to hover, ensuring their kids’ safety and intervening when necessary. For example, I would stay close to my son when he was younger, loudly pointing out dangers and reminding him to be careful. This kind of helicopter behavior is common among American parents but less so in Switzerland. I find as an American, young children need guidance from parents. As they are now older, I am hands off with them.

Balancing Both Worlds:

Despite my efforts to fit in, I still find myself cheering loudly at my children’s soccer games, much to their embarrassment. I believe in openly expressing emotions, a trait less common among Swiss parents. My children often ask me to be quiet and just watch like other parents, but I find it hard to suppress my enthusiasm. I do my best to respect their wishes, but occasionally, I can’t help but let out a cheer or shout, “Way to go!!” When I do, I get odd looks from other parents.

Active Involvement in Kids’ Activities:

American parenting is characterized by active involvement in children’s activities. This contrasts with the more hands-off approach I observe in Swiss playgrounds, where children enjoy greater independence. For example, Swiss parents are more likely to sit on a bench and allow their kids to wander around on their own. I often play with Swiss kids, who generally enjoy my interactive and fun-loving nature. If they want to be alone, they tell me, but more often than not, they ask me to join in their activities. 🏞️👫

Encouraging American Independence:

American parents encourage their children to be self-reliant from a young age, as young as infant age. Inspired by this, I allow my kids to run errands, like going to the grocery store or the nearest gas station for ice cream, fostering their independence. Despite their independence, I still maintain a close bond, ensuring they feel supported and guided.

Cultural Observations:

Swiss children are typically well-dressed and well-behaved, often wearing neat outfits that remain pristine throughout the day. For instance, girls often wear pretty dresses with tights and lovely flats, while boys wear nice pants and button-up shirts. In contrast, my kids prefer comfortable athletic wear, which is practical for their active lifestyle. They are often the only ones running around in short sleeves with stains on their clothes or holes in their shoes from playing roughly. Despite these differences, my children are well-liked for their outgoing and adventurous spirit. Swiss kids are less social and have only a few friends, while my kids have plenty, including opposite-sex friends.

Mealtime and Discipline:

Swiss mealtime habits emphasize calm, electronics-free meals with polite conversations. I’ve adopted this practice, leading to more meaningful interactions with my children. In Swiss culture, parents rarely raise their voices. When a Swiss child does something wrong, they are pulled aside and quietly talked to. This seems more effective than yelling or speaking loudly, as Swiss kids are generally calm and well-behaved. I’m gradually incorporating this quieter disciplinary method into my parenting.

Healthy Eating Habits:

To address the rising obesity rates in the US, I’ve embraced the Swiss approach to healthy eating. My kids now enjoy healthier snacks like fresh fruits and fresh veggies like carrots and bell peppers to name a few reducing our intake of junk food. Unlike in the US, obesity and health problems are rare among Swiss children, which I attribute to their healthier diet.

Conclusion:

Living in Switzerland has taught me the value of blending cultures and adopting the best practices from each. While I cherish my American roots and expressive nature, I also appreciate the Swiss emphasis on calmness and taking things easy with slow reactions. Ultimately, I strive to teach my children to respect diverse cultures, be kind and loving, and enjoy life to the fullest. By embracing both American and Swiss parenting styles and other cultures as we travel often, I hope to raise well-rounded, confident, and happy children. I hope this story inspires you and others that it is okay to be different and be free to express yourself as parents. Parenting should be filled with love and fun, and learning from one another is a great way. There is no one parenting style better than another. So, let’s give each parenting style their respect as long as the children show love and kindness among themselves. 🌟👩‍👧‍👦💖